Contrary to what many of us believe, being single isn’t a prerequisite for dating. Just because at a certain point in life you have no partner does not mean you need one. The decision to date, especially after a breakup or a divorce, is one that should be made after careful consideration of a couple of things, some of which we shall discuss below.
Knowing when the right time to date is is what can save you from a lot of unnecessary drama, heartache, and situation-ships. The awareness that sometimes availability is a mental state and not a physical one is a hallmark of growth.
Each relationship we experience changes us in a way. We are not the same after a heartbreak. That you can successfully hop from relationship to another without pain, grudges, baggage, and heartache transcends mortality. If you can, please write your own Hitchhikers Guide To Absolute Freedom in this tumultuous journey of relationships featuring humans.
Ready to figure out if you are ready to have a lifetime friend or partner? Here we go:
Your own company doesn’t suck anymore
The thing with being heartbroken is that the thought of spending time with your thoughts sends chills down your spine. The fear that you might have to spend the rest of life alone makes you want to party, or at least drink yourself to oblivion.
If you still feel like being by yourself is a hard pass, then a relationship is not what you need, you need perspective. When you have arrived at a state where you are your priority and spending time with yourself puts a smile on your face, you are ready to date again because the fear is, you will peg your happiness on someone else- and no one on earth has enough power to make everyone happy. You are not candy.
Your choices are right, your thought process is clear
Nobody on earth has crazier thoughts than someone who gets dumped. You are likely to feel like killing someone, toilet paper rolling their house or even raiding their backyard. With time and acceptance, you get to reach a level of acceptance that allows you to think clear thoughts.
If you are here, then you are ready to date.
The thought of your ex doesn’t send you into fits of rage
At some point during a break-up, the thought or even mention of your ex has enough power to ruin your whole day. If you’re ex still holds that much power over you, a relationship will not be able to hear that bitterness. The first step towards growth is to let them go, the literal version of forgiving and forget.
You see, that bitterness can and will manifest in your next relationship. Seek to let it all out, when you finish, find a new man or woman to make happy and not torment them.
You are aware of what excites you
Knowledge of what you’re looking for and what ideals you need in a relationship points to healing. That is a great place to get back out there.
If you tick at least three of the four, dating again is a great idea for you. If not, take your time. You will found out you are happier alone than lonely in the presence of someone.