Did you know that the average adult has sex 54 times a year, or a little more than once a week?
It’s important to remember that “normal” is whatever feels best for you and your partner. You may decide that your happy medium is having more — or less — sex than the “average” couple.
What matters most is that your sex is consensual. But consensual doesn’t always equate to fulfilling.
These signs of sexual frustration in a relationship could mean it’s time to change up your routine.
Shortness of Temper
Do you or your partner find yourselves more easily irritated, and more often? There’s a scientific explanation for this.
Having sex releases “feel-good” hormones and other chemicals in our brain that boost our moods, compassion, and connection with our partner. These chemicals include dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin.
The release of these chemicals can even alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, reducing the levels of cortisol — the primary stress hormone in your brain.
Sex is a physical way of connecting with your partner. Without that, it may become harder to sympathize with or understand each other, especially if resentment is building over previous attempts to communicate about the issue.
If you notice that you and your partner are talking less frequently — and with less enthusiasm — this could be a sign of a sexually frustrated boyfriend or girlfriend.
Are you finding it harder to focus during the day? Do you feel like you can’t stop where — and to whom — your mind wanders, especially in dreams? This could mean you aren’t satisfied with the quality or frequency of sex in your relationship.
Changes in Masturbation
Maybe the only way you feel satisfied anymore is by masturbating. Similarly, maybe you’re no longer interested in exploring your own body and what feels pleasurable to you.
If this is the case, it might be time to find a match for a new sex toy best suited to your needs. You may even find a couple’s toy that can reveal how to spice up sex in a relationship.
Lack of Self-Confidence
If you feel like you constantly have to initiate sex, this can take a hit to your self-esteem. You may be left wondering if your partner is unattracted to you, or you could notice yourself becoming overly critical of your appearance.
Remember that no one is at fault for having a sexually frustrated girlfriend or boyfriend. Often, a low sex drive could be the result of other factors, like stress or arousal dysfunction.
What to Do About Signs of Sexual Frustration in a Relationship
One of the biggest tips on how to relieve sexual frustration is open, honest communication with your partner. Discuss each other’s needs and interests, and agree on when — and how often — to have sex.
Instead of criticizing your partner’s performance, keep an open mind to trying new things within your comfort zone.
Addressing the signs of sexual frustration in a relationship helps to ensure that resentment doesn’t build up later.
If you found this article helpful, be sure to check out our love and relationships section for more advice on your romantic life.